Tuesday, December 26, 2006
( 12:00 PM ) Rebecca
A great Blahness has descended upon me.
Although I love my family dearly, every single negative emotion rises to the surface when I return to the family homestead. Here I fight off boredom, memories of my father, the ghosts of adolescent angst, reports that every other person I grew up with has a blissfully happy marriage and 2.5 kids and is rich from some Silicon Valley startup that is now a billion-dollar behemoth.
At times, these feelings cause me to become panicky. I always threaten to flee early. This time they have just made me blah. So blah that I cannot even muster the energy to leave and am staying for two extra days. Of course there is a GIGANTIC STORM coming in which motivates me not to get into an airplane although I flew here in a GIGANTIC STORM too and thank God everything was OK because I was sitting by the emergency exit and would have been responsible for getting everyone out of that damn plane had we crashed, and really, how likely is it that I would have my wits about me in such a situation (although I study the safety card religiously each time I fly and always offer my seatmates Extra spearmint gum as an implicit bribe for helping me put my oxygen on should the need arise).
(But for future reference, I like sitting in the emergency exit row and there is more legroom which means my fellow passengers don’t mind as much when I have to go to the bathroom 20 times during the flight, which is an unfortunate result of my nerves that doesn’t mesh very well with the fact that I also *must* sit by the window).
In news of the non-Blah, I seem to have finally hacked out a plot for my latest writing project and am excited about it. The story is not a slam-dunk sell the way BreakupBabe was (I knew from the minute I conceived that project that I could sell it, even if it did take two years to do), but it is still a good, timely story with cultural relevance and quirky characters. Ha ha. I say that as if I’ve already written the thing, as if it were a piece of cake to take a good idea and put flesh on it.
But at least I’ve got a good idea. Never mind that my mother, when I outlined the plot for her, said I don’t like it at ALL. Thanks, mom! How many novels have YOU sold?! (Actually, she came around a bit when I went into more detail and assured her my main character was not as superficial as she sounded. That was always my problem in writing classes. Your main character is so superficial! my classmates would say. She is NOT! She has a very complicated inner life! I’m, uh, just not enough of a talented writer to show it to you! No one has really complained that Rachel is superficial, however; the main criticism that she gets is that she is “whiny.” Duly noted and my next protagonist not be a whiner! Well, maybe just a little bit of one.)
OK, where was I. Oh yes, I am excited about my current fledgling novel. It has taken me a year to get to this point. It was just over a year ago that I handed in the final copyedits for BreakupBabe and since then I have been floundering in a creative purgatory, but now---perhaps I am emerging!
Back to news of the Blah, I am in severe need of a numerous chiropractic adjustments, a massage, a Yoga class, a life, and someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve, as well as a cleansing fast to rid my body of all the sugar, fat, caffeine, and alcohol so recently ingested. My most vivacious self has gone into hiding and I present to the world a subdued and boring front that expresses my inner Blah, but other than that, oh, I’m surviving the holidays and I hope you are too.
E-mail Breakup Babe