Thursday, December 29, 2005
( 9:18 AM ) Rebecca
So, Peter asks, what would Trixie do about a guy she has no chemistry with?
Trixie would dump his sorry a*s in a heartbeat, of course, because she is all about excitement and chemistry!
Clearly I have the same issue or I would be long married and saddled with 2.5 screaming kids by now. Only, unlike Trixie, I'm all ambivalent about it and stuff. I want the excitement of a gazillion flings and endless possiblity yet I want the security of knowing someone is there for me, and will change my diapers when I get too old to change them myself.
Which desire is controlling me? HMM. I WONDER. Well, I have a little while to get my act together because according to our insightful friend Mr. Helpful, Breakup Babe has "at least ten good years left before she finally sinks into a desperate swamp of unrealized dreams and poisonous desire. "
MEANWHILE. A miracle has occurred at BB World Headquarters. I have a date for New Year's Eve! Never mind who, exactly, because we all know I don't talk about that kind of thing anymore. Let's just say he's got brains and beauty and serious stud appeal all wrapped into one 6'2" package. And he's a nice guy on top of that. Now. Moving on...
SAD NEWS. OK I know some of you have been wondering: whatever happened to Dangerously Delightful Boy? I haven't spoken of this up until now because...well, it's been difficult.
But the fact is, he recently drowned in a mysterious accident in Lake Washington. The cause of his drowning is not really known but officials suspect that DDB, who was out for a bracing morning swim, suddenly sunk due to the weight of all his emotional baggage.
Said Detective John Arnold, of the Seattle Police Department, "DDB really was trying to move on with his life and get to a better place. Unfortunately, he was stuck in a Groundhog Day sort of situation and even the abundant charms of BB weren't enough to lure him out of it. Too bad too, 'cause she really liked that guy despite his multiple red flags." Well, he's out of it now and we hope he's gone to a better place. RIP DDB.
That's all the news that's fit to print for now. Happy New Year's my little darlings.
E-mail Breakup Babe