Friday, May 27, 2005
      ( 2:57 PM ) Rebecca  
Gee whiz. I have so much, yet so little, to say. My life is the usual whirlwind of writing and work and music wondering what dire thing might befall me now that everything seems to be going my way.

My birthday was, as most birthdays are, bittersweet. There was eating. There was drinking. There was dancing and more drinking. There was karaoke, and there was definitely a hangover. There was also tragedy - in the Celebrity's world - on the very night of my, as we were supposed to be celebrating the night away.

It put everything in perspective in a strange sort of way. How lucky I am to be here and how fragile everything is. Not really the kinds of thoughts you want to have on your birthday but the kind you (or I) have anyway. My father first got sick when he was 33 years old, so I'm ultra aware of how you can be skimming along in your prime when tragedy suddenly strikes you down.

It makes me both more anxious and more adventurous than your average soul. I'm always afraid of something horrible happening, yet I'm always out there trying to have as much damn fun as I can.

To that end, I'm off again for yet another birthday celebration with F., old pal and traditional birthday travel partner, to go backpacking here.

It's from my father I got my love of adventure, and my love, especially of the outdoors. After his first heart attack, he realized that he wanted to spend as much time in the mountains as possible. So, starting at age 8, I was strapped into a heavy backpack every summer, pushing my way up steep hills up to sparkling lakes and granite domes.

I complained as a kid, of course, but I also loved it. My mind was free in the mountains like it was nowhere else. I have a butterfly tattoo on my back to remember all the butterflies I chased in the vast Sierra meadows where we'd stop for lunch, where life the world turned into sun and streams and wildlflowers.

Now it's a gift I have with me always. These memories, and the sense of adventure that's taken me far and wide. The sense that life is short, but sweet if you live it the right way. Adventure can be dangerous, of course. But life is dangerous anyway.

So here I go. See you when I get back.
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