Sunday, April 10, 2005
( 9:05 PM ) Rebecca
OK, OK, things are under control - NOT!
Suddenly my life is Date Central, and not only that, I have a friggin' novel due in 3.5 months and guess what, everything I'm writing now is UTTER CRAP.
Yes, crap. That's because I've gotten to the part of my book I haven't written yet! Up until now, I was working off a rought draft, but now - now, my darlings - I am faced with many blank pages, and not only that, they have to be the most exciting pages of the book - the *crisis*, and - drumroll please, the *climax!*
Excuse me, but I don't know how to write a f*cking novel. I've never written one before! Why in the world would anyone pay me to do such a thing?
If all that weren't anxiety-producing enough, there are possibly still more Scary Medical Tests ahead, because apparently, when the certain Scary Medical Tests I took three weeks ago show nothing - absolutely nothing! - they put you through some more just to make double sure there is nothing - absolutely nothing! - wrong with you.
One day this book will be written, and one day there will be love in my life and not just adrenaline and anxiety and one day I will either be healthy or dead. But jeez, this limbo, is for the moment, bone-jarring. So get ready, get set, and hold on for the ride.
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