Sunday, December 12, 2004
( 5:22 PM ) Rebecca
Well, darlings, all your adoration is much appreciated. Though I have to say I feel sorry for you newbies who joined the fun just when the fun went away and BB became all "family-friendly" and sh*t. Yeah, it's not as fun for me anymore either!
As for the NYT, they can -- well, I won't say anything impolite here because, of course, I don't want to alienate the New York Times. Niiccee NYT, c'mhere, c'mon...
Oh, whatever. Fame isn't everything, now is it?
One clever commenter suggested that I interview MYSELF and I thought that sounded like tons of fun, so here goes:
BB: So, BB: you earned your notoriety by writing about your love life. Aren't you afraid that you're going to lose fans now that you've decided to censor yourself?
BB: Hell, yeah. Even my best friends have told me how much "less interesting" the blog is now. Hmmph.
BB: Well, is there any way you could give us out here in cyberspace just a little hint of what is going on with your love life? I mean, are you dabbling in man-land, are you on the marriage track, are you staying celibate for the sake of Art?
BB: (Laughs. Tosses sexy bangs out of chocolate brown eyes.) It's true that I write better when I'm angst-ridden and h*rny. Right now I'd have to say I'm angst-ridden but NOT h*rny.
BB: (Interested.) Hmm. Can you say more?
BB: (Looks around the restaurant furtively. Takes a sip of expensive Syrah and lowers her voice.) Well. I -- (Starts to say something then stops. Looks around the restaurant again, then shakes her head ruefully.) No, I really can't. Unfortunately.
BB: Oh, come ON. For two years you dish like there's no tomorrow and now suddenly you get just a little bit "famous" and forget about us, the fans, who made you what you are. Who NEED TO KNOW! Listen, what if I ask you yes or no questions?
BB: Hmm. Maybe. (Stares into her glass of wine.)
BB: Would your "angst" have anything to do with that statement, buried in your comments a while back, that Library Boy asked you to get back together?
BB: (Grimaces.) Maybe.
BB: AHA! But you're still dating that longtime object of lust, Sexy Boy, are you not, with whom you immediately and impulsively got together after breaking up with Library Boy because 1)you'd liked him for so long and 2)you didn't want to feel the broken heart you knew you were going to feel about LB?
BB: (Hangs head). Maybe.
BB: But you're confused, are you not? Things are perhaps not going exactly as you planned are they, and this offer from Library Boy has thrown you into a bit of a tizzy, has it NOT?
BB: (Quietly. Not making eye contact.) Yes.
BB: (Gleefully). Aha! So -
BB: (Snappishly). OK - interview's over!
BB: But --
BB: Hey, I have a book to write OK? (Stands up suddenly, nearly knocking wine over. She is dressed, as always, in the most stylish of thrift shop clothing, striped beret atop her head, red lipstick perfectly applied.) If you'll excuse me, I have to go meet with Jake Gyllenhaal now - he's been pestering me for some face-time to try to get an audition for the movie. (More cheerily now). Later, all!
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