Wednesday, August 04, 2004
      ( 7:40 PM ) Rebecca  
OK, you're in luck. I've had way too much coffee, am stuck at the office, and am bored out of my f*cking mind.

Sigh.

As I know I've been light on details lately, I'll give you the scoop on how the whole Charming Canadian (non-) drama played out.

I stayed true to my word, and never made contact with him again after our "friendly" Instant Message exchange of two weeks ago, when he was up in Canada doing whatever it is those heathens do up there.

I thought, ok, this is probably doomed, downgraded the crush to Mostly Hopeless, dated three million other boys, and waited to hear from him. Figuring, at least that he would have the decency to tell me if he had a girlfriend and was henceforth blowing me off, seeing as we did go on two dates and were engaged in heavy flirtation.

Well, silly me! Why would I have expected such a courtesy?

So. Demonstrating the utmost patience, I wait for an entire week after he returns from his two weeks with that Canadian ho'. I do not IM. I do not e-mail. I do not call. I just wait, and I wonder, with only the remotest stray tendrils of (quickly-withering) hope left.

Fine. He doesn't want me? There are plenty of boys who do! Now if I could live with that complete lack of closure, I would. But I can't. Especially given that he works in the same division, one building over, and I could run into him at any moment. I would like things to be friendly when we see each other. I would like, even to be friends, because he is a cute boy. That is always a suspect thing to suggest at this stage, but you know what, I do it anyway.

I send him a short e-mail last Friday that says hey, don't worry, whatever happened with you I hope that you don't feel awkward, and I hope that we can, at the very least be friendly, and at the most, be friends.

He takes three days to write back and when he does, he's just plain cold. In other words, he does not let me down gently, with kind words. No, he apparently feels the need to be harsh so as to push me far, far away and ensure that he doesn't find me hiding behind his file cabinet with a hatchet.

Something to the effect that now he has a girlfriend; must focus all his attention on her; can't be friends with me because that would make her feel "threatened," and - here was the kicker - he "hoped" I can "respect" that. He ends by saying but of course we can still be friendly, and talk about "work-related stuff" (yeah, right).

WTF? As IF. As IF I am some kind of stalker who doesn't know rejection when it slaps me on the face! As if I LOVE him SOOOO much that I will visit his house in the middle of the night and cook his f*cking pet RABBIT for dinner!

Get over yourself buddy.

Anyhow, as much as I would like to crucify him and his little Canadian cow, I have to say I saw him at a party today (yes- at a 500-person event, I accidentally seat myself five feet away from him!) and he made a special effort to come over and say hello, and then to say goodbye when he left, going so far as to touch me on my tanned, supple shoulder.

At least I looked sexy as hell today and was surrounded by admiring men at the time.

F*cking bastard.


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This blog was the inspiration for my novel. It helped me get through a horrible breakup and kept me entertained for years. But all good things must come to an end. I will recycle oldies but goodies from the archives here, but will blog about about writing here, and about all kinds of other stuff here.

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