Thursday, July 29, 2004
      ( 8:28 PM ) Rebecca  
Here are a couple things NOT to do when you're trying to pass the time at work, because they will either thoroughly distract or depress you:

Google hopeless crushes you had in high school and/or boyfriends who've dumped you and find out that they are now fabulously wealthy movie producers, and way hotter than they were even back when they rejected you. (On the other hand, it can be a good thing if they turn out to be fat and bald).

Peruse the online personals just to see which of the guys whom you are currently dating has recently refreshed his ad and/or has been "active" recently, OR to see which of the guys that has previously rejected you is still online looking for Ms. Right. Then, as you're doing that see your most recent unrequited crush (that would be the Charming Canadian) log on via Instant Messenger (and NOT message you, just like he has NOT messaged, e-mailed, or called of his own accord in the last 2.5 weeks. And yes, I swear, I'm going to delete him from IM. Any minute now. Really.)

You can however, try to do this:

Remind yourself that there are no less than three boys currently interested in you! (So what if one of them - that would be Corliss Guy - is still prowling the ads?)

Fondly remember that kiss that Libary Boy gave you on your front stoop last night. He might not be *quite* as good a kisser as Corliss Guy, but for whatever reason, you are a few degrees more attracted to him.

Remind yourself that one day you are going to be a famous, glamorous writer and that Jake Gyllenhaal (now single!) is going to star and that stud you loved in high school who is now a hotshot producer will produce it, and perhaps he will take one look at you, say *wow*, and that, as they say, will be that.

Yeah. Any minute now!

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