Friday, July 11, 2003
      ( 5:47 PM ) Rebecca  
Le U.N. Backpacking Trip Part Deux

Anguished moment #1
See Thrilling moment #5 in last entry. As SAB and I exchange massages by the creek, I worry that IRD will appear and:

-Break up our idyll
-Break up with me (after all, I had been making out in the tent with him 15 minutes before).

But, I think, it's just a massage, right? No big deal, right? I'm not a bad person, right?

Except SAB's shoulders are sooooo strong, mmmmm....

Anguished moment #2
Night #2. My affections have shifted, somewhat, from IRD to SAB (Is it just human nature? Perversely wanting what you don't have, the way I wanted IRD so bad before he wanted me? Or is it just SAB's rock hard shoulders?)

IRD and I are sleeping outside. Everyone else is planning to sleep in the tents but haven't gone to bed yet. We've both thrown our sleeping bags on the ground while SAB sits by the fire right next to us.

As soon as I get in my sleeping bag, IRD sweetly cuddles up to me and throws his arm over me -- WHILE SAB IS RIGHT THERE. Well, his arm is hidden in the sleeping bag, but still. I freeze up. Does SAB see? SAB goes to bed and I lie there wondering over and over what, if anything, he saw. Thinking over and over what a mean, awful girl I am.

To Be Continued...
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