Friday, May 30, 2003
( 8:59 AM ) Rebecca
You may or may not have noticed, but I’m not chasing boys around as much as I used to a few months ago.
I know it doesn’t seem that way, what with my moaning over CTB, SBEB, and ACB, but check it out: twice in the last month, people have wanted to set me up with coworkers or friends and I actually thought about it both times – once for more than a week! – before saying yes. A few months ago I would have been like “Yes give me their e-mail I will contact them right away let’s get married!”
Now well, I’m trying to sit with my sad, lonely self just a little bit, and not run down so many dark alleys and dead ends lookin’ for luv. It’s only part of me that’s sad and lonely anyway. The other half is writing, working, hiking, biking, partying, traveling, and having a blast.
I can be sad. I can be lonely. I can miss the relationship that ended almost exactly one year ago. I can feel scared and lost and like no one will ever say to me “I’m all yours” like that hunky Jake Gyllenhal in “The Good Girl,” in that scene I watched three times. I can feel it all and I can do it without getting freaked and desperate.
Just watch me.
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